John 21:1-19
As
Jesus handed out cooked fish and bread to the disciples one by one,
Peter
stared straight ahead at the charcoal fire in front of him.
After
the initial excitement of being once more in the presence of the
risen Christ,
Peter
had begun to remember the night when Jesus had been arrested.
He
had been scared and confused that night
but
he had wanted as best he could to stay right with Jesus.
So
he and John had followed
and
they made their way into the court of the High Priest.
No
sooner had he been allowed into the courtyard that the woman who
guarded the courtyard looked him up and down and asked him
accusingly,
“You're
not also one of this man's disciples, are you?”
“No,
I'm not!” Peter had replied in a knee-jerk reaction of fear.
Having
to wait outside in the cold,
he
found comfort in the circle of people warming themselves
around
a charcoal fire.
Now,
on the beach in the company once more of Jesus and the other
disciples
he
stared into the smoke and coals before him
and
thought about how far from a roaring blaze his own soul had become.
That
night he had been so sure, so committed.
When
he said to him, ‘Lord...I will lay down my life for you.’
Jesus's
response made no sense and had really hurt at the time.
When
he said ‘Will you lay down your life for me?
'Very
truly, I tell you, before the cock crows, you will have denied me
three times.'
and
sure enough around that charcoal fire the high priest's court.
Around
the smoldering embers of his own spirit,
he
had allowed fear to overcome his love,
“‘You
are not also one of his disciples, are you?’
‘I
am not.’
'But
I could've sworn you were in the garden with him!'”
And
no sooner had he denied the third time than the rooster crow pierced
his ears and heart.
The
rooster crow – that sign of the dawning of a new day,
filled
his heart with a dark sadness as he realized his betrayal.
Defeated,
he fixed his eyes on the dying embers of the charcoal fire, hands
outstretched.
And
here, on the beach, in the company of friends and most of all in the
company of the risen Christ, all of the remorse for his fear, for his
betrayal returns.
The
glowing embers of the charcoal fire on the beach reminding him of his
failure.
But
Jesus had not given up on him.
In
fact, though Peter lived in the shadow of defeat,
like
Jesus, he would rise again.
The
embers of his faith would be rekindled by forgiveness.
Jesus
passed Peter a portion of the bread and fish.
And
as a hungry Peter ate, he began to feel restored to life.
It
was after the meal that Jesus said to him:
“Simon
son of John”
Peter's
satisfied gaze at the glowing coals shifted suddenly to Jesus
“Do
you love me more than these?”
More
than these?
More
than what?
Was
Jesus asking if Peter loved Jesus more than the others loved Jesus?
Was
Jesus asking if Peter loved Jesus more than Peter loved the other
disciples?
Or
was Jesus asking if Peter loved Jesus more than the comforts of food
and fire,
of
the old familiar life of fishing?
It's
not clear what Jesus meant, but I think that he meant this third one.
Peter
do you love me more than the comforts of the familiar?
Do
you love me more than material satisfaction?
“Yes,
Lord; you know that I love you.”
A
piece of wood that Jesus had only just put on the coals ignited
flashing
up a new flame.
“Feed
my lambs.” Jesus says.
Peter
gave a thoughtful nod to Jesus's cryptic statement.
But
before he could think through whether Jesus literally wanted him to
switch from catching fish to shepherding or if he was speaking
poetically again...
Jesus
said again, “Simon
son of John, do you love me?”
The
exact same question.
“Yes,
Lord; you know that I love you.”
Jesus
said, “Tend my sheep.”
A
different command. First it was “Feed my lambs” and now “tend
my sheep.”
Jesus
was being deliberate. Jesus was making a point.
“He
said to him the third time, 'Simon son of John, do you love me?'
Peter
felt hurt because he said to him the third time, 'Do you love me?'
And
he said to him, 'Lord, you know everything; you know that I love
you.'
Jesus
said to him, 'Feed my sheep.'
And
that's when it hit him.
Jesus
was giving him a second chance.
Peter
needed to confront the charcoal fire betrayal
in
order to be renewed by this charcoal fire rededication.
Follow
me, Jesus concluded.
And
I find hope in this story of Peter's renewal by Christ.
It's
a really painful thing to have to confront our failures.
But
it's precisely in that place, that same charcoal fire
that
God speaks a new word to us.
A
resurrection word.
It's
there that Jesus asks us to do the 180 degree turnabout in our
heart's direction.
To
cast our nets on the other side of the boat –
away
from the long night of our own
To
the dawning morning of abundance.
Weeping
may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning.
It's
in the face of failure that God restores our hope
because
God's love does not have limits.
God's
love does not change when we change.
The
prophet Isaiah writes concerning God's Messiah,
“a
bruised reed he will not break,
and a dimly burning wick he will not quench;
he will faithfully bring forth justice.”
and a dimly burning wick he will not quench;
he will faithfully bring forth justice.”
Here
is Peter, drifting, unmoored on the Tiberias sea
and
here is Christ bringing him in to a renewed fellowship with God and
other believers.
Peter,
a bruised reed, a smoldering wick – is not neglected but restored
to wholeness.
And
the fire that is now full again in Peter, hears the new word of
Jesus.
Do
you love me? Feed my sheep. Follow me.
And
I think this could be my own story.
Again
and again I find myself lost in fear.
Drifting
in concerns about life.
Swamped
in guilt and self-rejection.
And
it's in that very place that God speaks a new word.
From a friend, from scripture, from a stranger
Our
God of love has many ways of drawing us to the shore.
If
we take the risk, and confront the charcoal fires in our lives,
in
that moment of truthfulness, God's Spirit will set us free.
Resurrection
is about forgiveness. A new life.
Why
are we fed by Christ, why are we renewed by God?
Is
it for our own peace of mind?
Is
it for our own ease of conscience?
Is
it for our own personal progress in our spiritual journey?
Yes.
All of these.
But that's not the whole story.
Peter
was not restored for the sake of Peter.
Peter
was not brought back to face his doubt
in
order to renew his faith and his alone.
Peter
was called by Jesus to go forth.
And
witness to resurrection.
The
power of God to restore people through forgiveness.
The
power of the Spirit to blow upon the embers of our soul
and
restore us to love of God and others.
And
that's the point.
Peter
is fed by Christ.
Now
Peter is freed up to feed others.
To
build up the kingdom of Christ on earth as it is in heaven.
To
feed others in body and soul.
To
care for those who hunger for the food of the body
but
also those who hunger for the food of the spirit
those
who desparately need a word of God's grace.
Be
nourished in God's presence this morning.
As
you confront your own charcoal fire,
Be
renewed in spirit in the presence of the risen Christ
and
the peace of the forgiveness that he offers.
And
be fed that you might feed others.
For
the God of second chances says, “Follow me.”
Amen.
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