Having and Being Sisters and Brothers

A sermon for the second Sunday after Pentecost given at the United Church of Acworth, Acworth, NH on June 10, 2012.

Mark 3:20-35

It was another night spent alone. It felt like this was fast becoming the rule and not the exception. My roommate was off spending the evening with his girlfriend and I was going to have to leave for work at around 10:30pm so I could get my coffee before I started my all-night shift at Columbia College, sitting (alone) in a dorm lobby, reading a book or watching cable and trying to stay awake.

How would I spend this evening before going to work? I looked through the movies that my roommate owned and found Fight Club and put it on. Bad idea. The movie plunged me further into the feelings of loneliness, of feeling stuck and trapped in a future which didn't carry much promise. I had to talk to someone. I had to find some form of comfort. So I got out my phone and thought, who can I call?

 I hadn't talked to my brother, Dan, in a long time. But I couldn't think of anyone else that I could share my pain with. I dialed and he picked up. I told him how terrible I was feeling, how lonely, how despairing. He listened so compassionately, I was balling and he told me he loved me. He told me that he understands my feelings, that he'd been there – it's a hard place, a painful place. But, Joel, he said, God has a plan for you, God will use you in a great way. In the middle of my tears I felt a sudden spark of hope. Here was a brother, who knew me very well and he believed that God would use me, that there would be a future. And he prayed for me and he encouraged me and my tears gradually dried up and I thanked him . He told me he loved me and I told him I loved him. And I went to work that night, encouraged, stronger, with greater faith that God was with me, and would be with me. Out of the blue I had called him and he was a life line.

I feel lucky to have that kind of relationship with my older brother. He's a brother not only by our earthly parentage, but by our spiritual parentage as well. We share not only in blood but also in faith. But we don't live near each other, we live as far from each other as you can get in the continental United States. We don't get the opportunity to be present to one another. And we talk only seldom, birthdays or holidays. And many of you are like me, having siblings all over the map that you may see once a month, once a year, once every two years. Or perhaps you have siblings that are no longer on this earth or perhaps siblings that are still alive but live as if there is no relationship – some fight or some difference has come between you – something that seems irreparable and you just pray for God's grace. Whatever the circumstances may be with your siblings of the flesh, I want all of us to be reminded by today's gospel reading that we have a new family, a larger family, a family by the spirit.

“Then his mother and his brothers came; and standing outside, they sent to him and called him. A crowd was sitting around him; and they said to him, 'Your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you.' And he replied, 'Who are my mother and my brothers?' And looking at those who sat around him, he said, 'Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.'”

We are reading through our Faith and Covenant this summer to be reminded of what this nuclear family within the family of God holds be true and worth living for. It begins:

“We believe in God, the Father, infinite in Wisdom, Goodness, and Love.”

God is Father to all of us. We recall last week's reading from Romans:

“All who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, “Abba! Father!” it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God.”

And so we must be reminded that as we have been born into a new life by faith, it is not just me, myself, and I on a new spiritual journey. We are born into a family, a new family with millions of siblings. We are not with God as slaves to a slaveowner or even employee to employer – though it has been common to joke about the “big man upstairs.” We are not slaves, we are not employees, we're not subcontractors, we're children of God. Let's take that seriously for a moment, let's take that personally. You, friend, you are by faith a child of God and part of the family of God. We pray “Our Father” not just because Jesus told us to – but because it's true of us, just as it was and is true of Jesus. Jesus is our older brother.

“We believe in God, the Father.”

And so with Jesus we can say, “'Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.'”

We are brothers and sisters here in this room, united by faith into God's family. It is a family of adoption, not procreation. As the 3^rd century Christian writer, Tertullian, put it, “Christians are made not born.” We are all of us brought together by a gift of God, the amazing grace that we sing about. We are here because we've been brought recognize that we cannot live on bread alone, but only by the words that proceed from the mouth of God. We've come to realize the insufficiency of our own efforts, our own achievements, our own strength to sustain us in life and to give us satisfaction, meaning, purpose. We've come to know the source of life, the source of strength, the source of all desires and in him find satisfaction. And so we were orphans according to the flesh, however strong our family ties were, however many our achievements were, we were still lost – still searching for a true home – still struggling with the separation and brokenness of this fallen world. But, friends, we've been adopted – we've been given the home of homes in God's grace, God's love, God's kingdom.

And with this new home, this new family, we've been given new brothers and sisters. This works two ways: 1) we have brothers and sisters in the family of God. 2) we are brothers and sisters in the family of God.

1) we have brothers and sisters in the family of God.  With God as our Parent [for truly God is described in scripture as both father and mother (Isa 66:13: “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you”)], we have a family dynamic that is established by God's example. In 1 John 4:11-12, we read, “Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us.”

Our love for one another is based on God's love for us. Since we have been loved, let us love. In fact, only to the extent that we know and experience God's love for us can we then be healed in such a way as to reflect that love to one another. We continually grow in our knowledge and appreciation of God's faithfulness, God's grace in our lives. And we proportionally are able to be that love to one another. I'm reminded of McCartney's line “and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.”

To have brothers and sisters in the family of God is to be one who receives God's love through relationship with others who have been found by God. When we are down and out, when we are in need of love, we have a family right in town, a family of the Spirit that can reach out to us and give to us. We are able to receive God's love through our siblings in the faith.

Some of you are true blue New Englanders, fourth or fifth or tenth generation Acworthians even. So to hear someone say that your true family is the family of God may be offensive or off-putting. But this is the good news, that God is restoring a new human family and one that will reflect the love of their spiritual Parent. And so we must receive from one another the care, the compassion of a sibling in the faith. But it's simply not a New England trait to allow others to help, to care, to speak into our lives. Many don't even let blood brothers and sisters do that. But if we are to know the love of God, we must allow that love to be shown to us by the gifts of others in God's family, we must put down our pride and allow ourselves to receive grace from others. We have brothers and sisters in the family of God and we can and must allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to receive their care, receive their support, to make and maintain relationship, the bond of a common God, a common love, a common life. This is part of what it means to be brothers and sisters in the family of God. We must be willing to reach out to our siblings in the faith and receive their care, their compassion in our times of need. This is not easy, but our health, our life as a Christian community depends on our being able to receive from one another.

We also must accept challenges and instruction from one another with humble hearts. None of us have arrived a state of perfection. All of us need to hear the truth that we are blinded to. We must accept correction, accept challenges, accept the truth that others speak to us with a spirit of grace because we know that it is only by acknowledging our problems that we can find solutions. It does no good to keep down a road that leads away from your destination after someone has told you otherwise appealing to their compass and map, just because you don't want to be wrong. We must recognize that we're in this journey called faith together and listen to one another when it's words of comfort and also when it's words of challenge.

We have brothers and sisters in the family of God – a family of support, a family of care, a family of challenge and accountability.

I spoke about our need to receive from one another first because I think it's the harder of the two to put into practice. Especially New Englanders, but Americans in general value above anything else self-sufficiency, independence. But we've learned a different way by the grace of God, the truth that we are whether we realize it or not, always dependent on God and one another and to become able to speak truthfully about that reality is to become more able to fully live the life that God intends for us. So we must receive – we must be truthful and humble and realize that despite our pride's insistence to the contrary, we live in dependence upon God and others – and the only way to know God's love is to allow God's love to reach you through other human beings and the only way to know God's truth is to allow God's truth to speak to you through other human beings. We must receive in order to grow – let's take a lesson from the plants growing in our backyards.

2) But we must also realize that not only we have brothers and sisters from whom we must be open to receiving, but we are brothers and sisters in the family of God from whom others will have the opportunity, the privilege to receive.

As we have received, so we give. Again, founded on the love that we have received from the God who in the words of the Psalmist, “drew me up from the desolate pit, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.” “Amazing grace...I once was lost, but now am found, blind but now I see.” We have been given much in the love and grace of God, and we have come to know that grace in a more tangible way through the care and comfort of the people that we have come to know in our various journeys. And hopefully, this community has been an avenue for many of you to come to know in a greater fresher way the unconditional grace of God – I know it has for me.

So, “since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another...” that God living in us might perfect God's love in us. We cannot know love without being loved but we also cannot know love without loving others. We are made to receive and give love like a channel is made to transmit water. And we are made to be channels, not stagnant pools. Our joy, our satisfaction depends on us being conduits of God's grace. We can't know that grace without receiving it with humble and grateful hearts from God and others, but we equally can't know it without allowing it to transform us, to flow through us to others. And God will become known to others by our witness of God's transformative love through relationship. Jesus himself said to his disciples that “by this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Now it's not easy to love your brothers and sisters in the flesh – it's not any easier to love brothers and sisters in the Spirit. We all come to this family as adopted kids, from broken backgrounds and we must always remember that hurt people hurt people. But if God's healing is to take place, it will take place through courageous individuals who begin to practice going outside of themselves and giving themselves to the other even when it's difficult, indeed, especially when it's difficult.

 I'm learning this lesson myself as I go out on visits in town. I sometimes don't know if I'll be received or not, if I'll be wanted or rejected. But I must go out anyways, because by going out, by reaching out, I learn what it means to give, to love as God loved. Remember, the love of God that we are imitating found its expression in his crucified son. We're not talking an easy road when we talk about love. Love is painful precisely because we are so broken and unable to show love, to give and receive without pride or violence. We are called to imitate the one who sought not to be served but to serve and give his life as a ransom. We should note that even though Jesus didn't seek to be served that he was served and certainly always received graciously the care of others. But Jesus gave and in giving was rejected to the point of the cross. We must be prepared that loving others will be hard, we have issues all of us that bring out the worst in us at times and especially when we are being given grace that we either do not want or don't feel we deserve. Hurt people hurt people and love sometimes gets met with hateful scorn. 

 But just because that may be the result does not mean that we should retreat and keep to ourselves and let others keep to themselves. Conflict is necessary for peace and the tension that arises when we give love is not created by our gift but is a tension that already exists and is being brought to the surface, to the light, by the loving action or words of the brother or sister. We must not avoid love because it's hard. We'll never reach health if we refuse the prescription. We are brothers and sisters in the family of God and because we are we have a responsibility to share life with one another, to care for one another, to speak truth to one another, encourage one another, pray for one another, bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. This is how health returns to us – by mundane interactions of people with other people that are transformed by the love of God. 

 Now some of us are too quick to offer help, criticism, instruction. Beware of giving from a sense of superiority or in a way that demeans rather than upbuilds and encourages. Give out of love for the other not for self-satisfaction.

When we pray “Our Father” – we are at the same time recognizing those praying with us as our brothers and sisters. That our Father is “infinite in Wisdom, Goodness, and Love” means that the Spirit in which we are born again, adopted, made new, has made available to us all the spiritual resources for learning to live in this new life, the life which considers others' needs just as important as our own, the way by which Christians are to be known, “love for one another.” We must learn to let down our guard and receive God's love individually, receive God's love from others, and as we receive out of the abundance of God's goodness, we live by grace giving to others, reaching out and being God's love to our fellow siblings in the faith. We have brothers and sisters because we are brothers and sisters by God's adoption. This family is borne of God's wisdom, goodness, and love to make known that wisdom, goodness, and love. And we as the United Church of Acworth are called to be here in this place, in this time that manifestation of God's love, singing a new song, that many might see, believe, and be transformed and set free from slavery into adoption by the Spirit of God. Amen.